Ryan Adams Needs To Stop!

Ryan Adams needs to stop making music, take three deep breaths, and walk away from the guitar for awhile.

I just heard tell that he's making some kind of heavy-metal mess, so I went online to check it out. It's horrible; sounds kind of like latter-day Rush... if their tour bus collided with a freight train hauling rabbits and somebody caught it on tape.

Those are pretty slim odds but God wants it that way because it would sound horrible if it happened. Have you ever heard a rabbit squeal? You'd remember it if you have.

At any rate, the erstwhile Prog-Folk maestro needs to chill out on making music and maybe take up model airplane building... just for a little while at least. He's been making so many albums for so long I'm sure his poor frazzled brain just doesn't know what to do anymore.

And now... heavy metal? Ryan, if you're reading this, remember: history rarely rewards the prolific, it favors the poignant.

But what do I know? I'm just a duck!

Quack!